A lack of inspiration

A lack of inspiration is like poison to a writer's soul.

Darn college apps.

Heh.

Toodles.

Off to Starbucks, Holland V for inspiration.

Awesome. Sweet. Beautiful.

Morning Sunshine.

Listening to Forrest Gump Suite makes me smile.

Good music never disappoints.

Hui is coming home in approx 35hrs.

Dhanuj is coming home in approx 59hrs.

Long weekend from Thursday to Monday except for duty on Saturday.

As I place my hope in God, He places His unfailing love over me.

Awesome. Sweet. Beautiful.

Awakening Amazement at the Strange Glory of Ordinary Things

By: Clyde Kilby

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am in a planet travelling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe is guided by an Intelligence which as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death, when he said: “There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.

3. I shall not fall into falsehood that this day, or any day is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fooled enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.

5. I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall forget about myself and do work.

6. I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their ‘divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic’ existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the “child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder.”

8. I shall follow Darwin’s advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as C. S. Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless classic.

9. I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggest, “fulfill the moment as the moment.” I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10. Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls Himself Alpha and Omega.

Beautiful and Inspiring Gift from God.

Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life.

The amazing things about trials and tribulations are their ability to bring you back to God, to be swept up by His ever-present grace and love, and to allow His Glory and Sovereignty to be displayed.

My boss came back from his 2 month long course, and was appalled to find the company in a worst position then when he had left it. As I was the only officer at work for the past few days, much of his questioning and display of anger fell upon me. As the only officer around, I felt very bad, and disappointed at myself. Sure, I was not at blame, and neither did my boss blamed me, but it sure felt that way. The weight of the company was on my shoulders, and I couldn’t carry it, worse still, I had failed it. After a few days of shelling from my boss, coupled by the long hours trying to catch up with work in the officer, I finally broke down during a questioning session where both my boss and 2IC were present. I felt so bad, and could not say a word without starting to tear again.

I give thanks to God for His supremacy of all things in life, that during my darkness moments He picked me up and cradled me in His arms. He reminded me of my frailty and humanity, and that no matter how much I do, without Him I would fail.

Now, the stress is still there, and the work never seems to finish, but I leave my bunk with the assurance that no matter what the day may be, my day will glorify Him because He is with me.

I’ve about 12 weeks more before I ORD, and these 3 months can make or break my NS experience. I intend for it to be meaningful and memorable, that in these last few months, people will ask what’s about this officer that makes him different, and how does he does he do it? When that happens, I’ll point towards the cross.

my crazy life

The last wk was simply overwhelming, and the weeks that will follow will not be any easier!

From last week onwards, I'll be the only Platoon Commander (PC) in my company because all the other PCs will be on course. My Company Sergeant Major (CSM) will be overseas for 3 weeks, and my Officer Commanding (OC) will be posted out very soon. So it's just my 2IC and me leading the company. Therefore, besides having to conduct almost every single activity, plan for the day, and manage my sergeants, I'll also have to take charge of my company, plan it's vision and mission, and lead it! The heavy responsibility was coming, but I never saw it, nor prepared for it, so right now, I'm swept away by the enormous responsibility and workload!

To make matters worse, my spiritual life is on the rocks, and my QT is not stable at all. Therefore, it's a double whammy for me, and I'm about to explode!

Thank goodness, there's the grace of God in every situation.

I had a talk with my very capable OC who encouraged me to take this time of heavy responsibility as an opportunity, rather than a burden. That this time will be a chance for me to make my impact on the company as it lays it's new foundations in its new unit, with its new troopers and sergeant cadets. That this time will be a chance to hone my decision-making skills, as well as my ability to lead and manage. Thanks Captain James.

I also have a picture of my nephew in my Bible, and during the times when I feel that my head would explode, either his picture, or a passage in the Bible would calm me down and bring a smile to my face. It's really amazing what impact a sleeping baby and a passage from the Bible can bring to a troubled soul!

Last thing I realized is that over the past year or so, I've become more cold, and unfeeling. Certain experiences like the loss of friends, the stress of army, and the troubles of life have really hardened my character and personality. I remember how I used to be more cheerful, and more ready to help, to be a gentleman whatever the circumstance, and to see more hope in difficult circumstances. Now, it seems that I'm just concerned about me, and how I'm going to survive the 2 years in army. I question the value of being a gentleman and helping others. Somehow, I know it's the right thing to do, but I'm jaded and I don't see the value in doing it anymore.

That's when the grace of God comes in, and He reminds me that He has called me for greater things, and that I should shine for Him regardless. Sure it still sucks that I don't understand, that I can't trace His plan, that I don't see His hand, but I'll do my best to trust His heart.

The next 3 months in will most probably be my toughest months in the last two years, but I'll hold on to God and trust Him.

God is good,

God can do anything,

God will bring everything to pass.