chicken feet at dinner

Dad, mum, hui and I were having dinner at home when mum drops a piece of chicken on my foot.

wei: mum, you dropped a piece of chicken on my foot.

mum: at least i dun need to clean the floor.

Mum then cleans my foot and we all laugh. funny mummy. :)

mid-retreat

It's 0441 hours, and I still can't sleep. I'm gonna be zonked out tomorrow...

Right now, I'm at GoogleGod Retreat held at Keith's place at Bishan. Everyone is sound asleep in the attic. On my left is Keith, and on my right is Eunice, and scattered everywhere is everyone else. We had a great dinner cooked by the girls, fellowship, and then worship. We played telephone pictionary which is a really awesome form of pictionary! haha.

I can really see God's work in this small group. Honestly, at first, I did not see much hope in us. We did not have much in common, and we seemed so different. However, now after about 3 months, we're having our first retreat, and I must say that I've made a few close friends! Praise God!

On Tuesday, the leaders of the group met up to organize the retreat, and one of the things that we decided to do was to fast and pray for our mission and vision. Joyce said that she felt Philippians 2: 15 was what God was telling her was the theme for this small group. Interestingly, while I was having breakfast yesterday, I looked up and there was a note from Hui telling me to shine like stars! Wow!

Philippians 2: 15 says "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

I am very excited to see what God has in store for GoogleGod and I believe that He will reveal more to us tomorrow! Right now, I really need to fall asleep. It's 0453, and we've to reveille at 0730!

sunday

A pretty quiet sunday at church cause most people were at YM Sub-Ministry Retreat. It was quite cosy tho. Sam called it the "bao ka liao" sunday. In hokkien, it means "everything in" sunday. For worship we had Sam, his son and Janie. Tao Han did sound, Jeffry did the slides, Carol did prayer, Lanabel did ushering with a few of her angels, and I did announcements. And that was our Sunday Service Working Group.

Had Nasi Bryani with Hui, Joel Koh, and Eric at Joel's Office, then headed down to mum's salon to cut hair. Went Shopping with Hui at West Coast Plaza cause she needed to get clothes. In the end, I bought 2 shirts, she bought none. But it doesn't really matter anymore cause Mei gave Hui a shirt at Mei's house, and Hui "koped" my shirts cause they fit her. Hui: pls bring them back to me cause I would like to wear them too. Now, Hui has 3, and I have none. haha.

Had family dinner with the whole family, and that's like 12 of us including baby in the tummy and Ern. So, the family's DadMumEeMarkSiewRayMeiMingHuiWeiErnBaby LohLimTayKohChoyLuo. It was a very lovely dinner. Mingyao boiled soup, baked chicken, and fried eggs, sausages and fish, and we celebrated Hui's belated birthday. I love family dinners.

Back to camp. 7 days to Jakarta, 11 days to YM Camp, 19 days to Christmas, 26 days to 2010, 63 days to ORD, 75 days to my 21st. Time flies. Wheee! Flap, flap, flap!

Be Magnified.

We humbly come undone and in amazement bow before the Great and Mighty King.

We're laying down our pride just to see Your Kingdom come, lifting Holy hands to You.

The Universe declares Your name. As we Your children sing Your Praise.

Be Magnified, Be Glorified. Be lifted high in all our praises,

We crown You as the Lord of Our lives. Be Magnified.

Sovereign Most High, We lift Our Eyes,

You You whom all honour is due, Hallelujah Lord we Worship You.

We Worship You

Hallelujah, Lord we Worship You.

Music and Lyrics: Daniel Ong

Vocals: Robin Koh, Debbie Chia.

By: OCF Clayton

Crazy!

Every once in a while, you've got to do something crazy.

Nuts is I!

A lack of inspiration

A lack of inspiration is like poison to a writer's soul.

Darn college apps.

Heh.

Toodles.

Off to Starbucks, Holland V for inspiration.

Awesome. Sweet. Beautiful.

Morning Sunshine.

Listening to Forrest Gump Suite makes me smile.

Good music never disappoints.

Hui is coming home in approx 35hrs.

Dhanuj is coming home in approx 59hrs.

Long weekend from Thursday to Monday except for duty on Saturday.

As I place my hope in God, He places His unfailing love over me.

Awesome. Sweet. Beautiful.

Awakening Amazement at the Strange Glory of Ordinary Things

By: Clyde Kilby

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am in a planet travelling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe is guided by an Intelligence which as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death, when he said: “There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.

3. I shall not fall into falsehood that this day, or any day is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fooled enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.

5. I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall forget about myself and do work.

6. I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their ‘divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic’ existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the “child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder.”

8. I shall follow Darwin’s advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as C. S. Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless classic.

9. I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggest, “fulfill the moment as the moment.” I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10. Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls Himself Alpha and Omega.

Beautiful and Inspiring Gift from God.

Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life.

The amazing things about trials and tribulations are their ability to bring you back to God, to be swept up by His ever-present grace and love, and to allow His Glory and Sovereignty to be displayed.

My boss came back from his 2 month long course, and was appalled to find the company in a worst position then when he had left it. As I was the only officer at work for the past few days, much of his questioning and display of anger fell upon me. As the only officer around, I felt very bad, and disappointed at myself. Sure, I was not at blame, and neither did my boss blamed me, but it sure felt that way. The weight of the company was on my shoulders, and I couldn’t carry it, worse still, I had failed it. After a few days of shelling from my boss, coupled by the long hours trying to catch up with work in the officer, I finally broke down during a questioning session where both my boss and 2IC were present. I felt so bad, and could not say a word without starting to tear again.

I give thanks to God for His supremacy of all things in life, that during my darkness moments He picked me up and cradled me in His arms. He reminded me of my frailty and humanity, and that no matter how much I do, without Him I would fail.

Now, the stress is still there, and the work never seems to finish, but I leave my bunk with the assurance that no matter what the day may be, my day will glorify Him because He is with me.

I’ve about 12 weeks more before I ORD, and these 3 months can make or break my NS experience. I intend for it to be meaningful and memorable, that in these last few months, people will ask what’s about this officer that makes him different, and how does he does he do it? When that happens, I’ll point towards the cross.

my crazy life

The last wk was simply overwhelming, and the weeks that will follow will not be any easier!

From last week onwards, I'll be the only Platoon Commander (PC) in my company because all the other PCs will be on course. My Company Sergeant Major (CSM) will be overseas for 3 weeks, and my Officer Commanding (OC) will be posted out very soon. So it's just my 2IC and me leading the company. Therefore, besides having to conduct almost every single activity, plan for the day, and manage my sergeants, I'll also have to take charge of my company, plan it's vision and mission, and lead it! The heavy responsibility was coming, but I never saw it, nor prepared for it, so right now, I'm swept away by the enormous responsibility and workload!

To make matters worse, my spiritual life is on the rocks, and my QT is not stable at all. Therefore, it's a double whammy for me, and I'm about to explode!

Thank goodness, there's the grace of God in every situation.

I had a talk with my very capable OC who encouraged me to take this time of heavy responsibility as an opportunity, rather than a burden. That this time will be a chance for me to make my impact on the company as it lays it's new foundations in its new unit, with its new troopers and sergeant cadets. That this time will be a chance to hone my decision-making skills, as well as my ability to lead and manage. Thanks Captain James.

I also have a picture of my nephew in my Bible, and during the times when I feel that my head would explode, either his picture, or a passage in the Bible would calm me down and bring a smile to my face. It's really amazing what impact a sleeping baby and a passage from the Bible can bring to a troubled soul!

Last thing I realized is that over the past year or so, I've become more cold, and unfeeling. Certain experiences like the loss of friends, the stress of army, and the troubles of life have really hardened my character and personality. I remember how I used to be more cheerful, and more ready to help, to be a gentleman whatever the circumstance, and to see more hope in difficult circumstances. Now, it seems that I'm just concerned about me, and how I'm going to survive the 2 years in army. I question the value of being a gentleman and helping others. Somehow, I know it's the right thing to do, but I'm jaded and I don't see the value in doing it anymore.

That's when the grace of God comes in, and He reminds me that He has called me for greater things, and that I should shine for Him regardless. Sure it still sucks that I don't understand, that I can't trace His plan, that I don't see His hand, but I'll do my best to trust His heart.

The next 3 months in will most probably be my toughest months in the last two years, but I'll hold on to God and trust Him.

God is good,

God can do anything,

God will bring everything to pass.

life's random ramblings at dome.

Life as it is right now feels quite unfulfilling (is there such a word, dunno, ee pls help me check, happy birthday too!). I concluded that life's unfulfilling cause there's nothing to fulfill. I've a lack of goals and aims, and therefore with nothing to fulfill, I feel unfulfilled. Bad, vicious cycle. I need some goals!

I realize that I need to discipline myself. I need to do QT everyday, I need to exercise every few days, I need to write in my journal more frequently, I need to do loads of things that I'm currently not doing, Bleh... Bad boy! I go to jail!

Things that make me smile and be happy.

1. Carrying my nephew and watching him do the most random things, like sleep, drink milk, struggle to get out of his swaddling cloth.

2. Having meals with the whole family.

3. Reading happy things, like my sisters' blogs.

4. Driving and Riding alone.

5. Being around happy people who I love alot.

6. Sitting down at starbucks, coffee bean, or dome to read and write.

7. Enjoying great scenery.

8. Playing ultimate.

This is so random...

ACAMM

ACAMM (ASEAN Chief of Army Multilateral Meeting) is finally over. I spent the last 5 days from sunday to thursday at Swissotel at Raffles City feeling important in my neatly ironed long sleeved shirt and nicely tied ties, ushering big shots from all over South East Asia, and making sure that their walk from the front porch to their rooms are as smooth as possible.

It was quite an experience, sure it was boring at times where I spent hours at MPH reading hellgate and motor culture, and at the holding room sleeping. Sure it was exhausting cause I had to wake up at unearthly hours to reach the hotel at 0700, and only left the place after 2130, exhausted. However, I had to learn and experience some cool stuff like having free meals at the Equinox and Marketplace Cafe, and also seeing how the different armies from the various countries interact with each other. For example, subordinates from all the countries except Singapore were really scared and timid around their superiors, even a 2 star general was scared in the midst of a 3 star one. Only our COA looked fit. haha.

To end ACAMM off with a big bang, we chilled at Timbre and played lan after that, cool stuff.

(In the pic, from L to R, 3sg bs brannon, 3sg king kong kok keong, 3sg a... aaron, 3sg tiny terli, and me 2lt jingwei, no funny nicknames for me)

babies praise God too!

I remember when my sisters and I were young, Mummy used to tell us to raise our hands upwards while we slept so that while we were sleeping, we could praise God too.

I was at Ee's place looking at Ern sleep and he was raising his hands in the upwards while he slept! Haha!

Psalms 8: 2b says that from the lips o children and infants you have ordained praise!

Looks that this is no new concept. Praise you in my sleep Lord! :D

a talk w dad

I was sitting down in the salon reading reader's digest when my dad came and sat down beside me. I decided to ask him what has been on my mind for very long, "why he doesn't allow me to ride a bike". So summing up all my courage, I asked him the question, and he replied. Dad said that he can only advise me, and that I can do anything I want as long as I am responsible for the consequences. He said that riding a bike is very dangerous and that no matter how careful a rider you are, it is still more dangerous riding a bike as compared to a car.

So matters are quite cleared up now that I know that my dad 'allows' me to buy a bike. Now, what's the next step?

someday i'll fly away....

Responsibilities

I need to be free from them

Until I'm refreshed.

Tweet... tweet... tweet...

i'm an uncle!

Yay! yay! The week in camp was pretty taxing with people in army making life very tough for me. But thank you God for reminding me of all the good things happening around me.

Dajie gave birth to Tze Ern yesterday at about 2000 hours, and I rushed down to the hospital to see him. He's totally awesomely adorable and I can't wait to cradle him in my arms. I'm heading off to jb with the exco today though so I don't know when I can see Ee and kid again. can't wait though!

I'm a happy man! uncle david! whee!

surrender

Recently, I got my Class 2B riding license, and I was very passionate about getting a bike. However, I still needed to ask my dad for permission to do so cause it's the right thing to do (mummy already approved, she even asked dad to get me a bike). So summing up a lot of hope and courage, I approached my dad and said," dad, i'm gonna get a bike". Well... he said no and that he would #$%^ me if I did get a bike. Naturally, I was quite cheesed off for a very long time. I had all these angry thoughts in my head. thoughts like "i'm gonna be 21 in 5 months time so i dun need to ask you for permission to do anything anymore". But by the grace of God, and the advice of my beloved mum and dajie, I cooled off after about 2 weeks. So right now, I'm not going to get a bike, I'll wait.

I learnt from IDMC 2009, Surrender isn't giving up, it's giving in. Giving up is due to a sense of helplessness, giving in is due to love. I'm giving in.

Letters!

I wrote 5 letters today! It's the first time in a long time that I've written, and it's also the first time in a long time that I've written to so many people at once!

As I look back at my letter writing history, I realize that it dates back to when I was very young. I don't know the exact age that I started writing letters, but I know that the first person that I wrote to was hui. As I grew older, I begun to write to more people. In primary 5, I started writing to my best friend, and his sisters. It faded off after a few months, but I must admit it was quite fun trading letters through my best friend. (When I wrote to my sisters, I could just leave it on the table at home, I didn't need to post them, though that might have been quite fun) Then I stopped writing for a long while. I only begun again after jc after I read the chapter on the loss art of letter writing in the Little Red Book of Wisdom. I must say that I love writing, and I love receiving letters. I never fail to let excitement build up within me whenever I open the mailbox.

"To send a letter is a good way to move somewhere without moving anything but your heart." -Phyllis Theroux

schedule

I've got home quarantined and my schedule is sad :/
1000: Wake up and have breakfast
1100: QT
1230: Cook lunch and have lunch
1400: Read, surf, play the guitar
1600: Nap
1700: Read, surf, play the guitar
1800: Cook dinner and have dinner
2000: Read, surf, play the guitar
2200: Run and exercise
2359: Read, surf, play the guitar
0100: Sleep

shine like stars!

What am I doing in army? Why do I put in so much effort in what I do? I look around me and 90% of my friends in army have down pes-ed. And I'm not joking, 90% of them! Even those who have not describe to me the grim picture of going all out and giving your all. It seems that the culture in army even among Christians is "cover your own butt first". Can't we recognize that we are called to shine like stars in this universe? We are called to be salt and light to this world? Yes! it will mean that we stick out like a sore thumb and get arrowed to do more than what we are suppose to do! Yes! it will mean that we get persecuted and ridiculed! But then, isn't that what Jesus would do if He was in the army? When Jesus was on earth, He preached that the Kingdom of God was coming down to earth. Let's do what Jesus was doing and help bring the Kingdom of God down onto this earth! Praise God!

apostles

I was reading "developing a supernatural lifestyle" by Kris Vallotton when I stumbled across the term "apostle". Most of us know the term "apostle" refers to the twelve apostles. In actual fact, Jesus borrowed the term from the Romans who rules the Jews of His day. The "apostles" were Roman generals who were specifically charged with reformed the culture of the nations they conquered. They taught the conquered people the Roman ways, rules, and customs. The Romans understood that unless they were able to implement Roman culture in these places, they would not be able to sustain a ruling relationship over the. Likewise, God sent His "apostles" to change the culture in which they lived in. They were to heal the sick, get people saved, proclaim the gospel, and establish God's kingdom. We are God's "apostles"! Are we changing the places where we live, work and play, or are we allowing them to change us?

new ministries

RCC is officially over and I'm quite free for the next 5 days! Well... now that RCC is over, I'll be moving back to my mother unit, and I'm quite anxious to see what God has in store for me there. Just a few months ago, during the church conference, I attended the workshop on marketplace ministry by Sharon Mah, and I felt God really speak to me, telling me that I was in my current unit for a unique purpose, and that I was an officer so that I influence others in ways which other ranks can't. I'm still praying and seeking God, asking Him what His vision for me unit is. My unit is my marketplace.

Also, I've joined Youth Discipleship Sub-Committee which is a really small committee aimed at the Committed Group of church. They organized events, bible studies and conduct things which can benefit the committed group in church. Such events are mentorship, church conference, and bible studies. I'm not to sure what my role in this subcom will be now, but I believe that God has a purpose for me in there. It was quite a coincidence since I was talking to Bobby about serving in a larger capacity last friday, and then I got an email from Carol asking me to join. Also, I'll be going for an Intentional Discipleship Making Conference next month, and I believe that that will be applicable to my service in Youth Discipleship. So, we'll see what God has next for me!

Hi!

Hi world! I'm back from RCC, not officially, but I managed to sneak out some time from my crazy schedule to do a little update about myself. The last five weeks have been pretty repetitive in the sense that I spent the weekdays looking forward to the weekends, and the weekends are just so busy that before I know it, they are over. Here's a short preview of my last five weeks. Week 1 and 2: Lectures, lessons and fast marches. Week 3: Exercise Longwalk in which I walked for over sixty km from upper bukit timah, to woodlands, to kranji, to lim chu kang, and finally back to camp in tuas. Week 4: Land Infiltration Movement Package; spent two days in lim chu kang, two days in lorong asrama, and one day in seletar for crossing water obstacle training. Week 5: Combat Survival Training; spent three days in ama keng collecting and eating wild RBTs (Rambutans), made campfires in the moonlight and talked about random things. Two weeks more till the end of RCC and then life will hopefully become more consistent.

Over the last few weeks, I've been getting to know the SCTs (sergent cadets in training) under my command, and it has indeed been my privilege to lead them. They're not the perfect bunch of commanders, but they work well together, and with the right guidance, they know what's the right thing to do. I pray that they grow to become the best that they can be, and I look forward to working closer with them in the future.

Hi Zhilong, Theodore, Aaron, Chinam, Terli, KK, Brannon, and Mark (You're not my SCT, but you're great too)! :)

A new course awaits

Well... My biking days at Bedok and Lorong Asrama have ended, but another chapter begins. Operator Maintenance from Tuesday to Friday before I embark on my pilgrimage to become a recce commander, and obtain my much coverted jungle hat. I'll be disappearing yet again into the jungles of Singapore and the Saturday sleep catching up sessions from June to July! With much love, bye! :)

ps. I think when God made me, He put a adventure in me to make me a crazy, spontaneous and wacky, a little honey in me to make me sweet and nice, and a little heart in me to make me love. :)

Biker Gang

I need to join a biker gang. Last thursday, I was at Lorong Asrama for my bike course night convey. When all the bikes started their engines together, I went hysteric and fell in love with the sound of forty engines revving together. I've got to join a biker gang!

The pearl

I was having a little talk w my mum last sunday and she shared with me a passage from matthew 13: 44-46 about the parable of the hidden treasure and the pearl. It was about how when you find something so beautiful, that you have to give up everything in order to get it. Guess what? My mum related that to a relationship. When you find out who God has intended for you, you have to give everything up in order to be with that person. Wow!

Why I Ride

I'm currently on my military bike course, and am also taking my civilian one as well. My initial reason for wanting to get a civilian license was that it was easy to do so because I was on my military bike course. Even if I didn't ride in Singapore, I could use it elsewhere, some time in the future. Then I thought of the convenience that it would provide in getting me from one place from another. I thought of the independence that I would have, the freedom from having to ask my dad for the car when I needed it. Then while a few of my friends and I were having dinner yesterday, one of them commented that the reason you ride will decide how safe you will be on the road. If you ride for convenience, then it's more likely that you will speed and be less careful. However, if you ride for passion, then you would take extra precaution and be more careful on the road. I rode on the public road for the first time today, and I love the feeling, it's just different from a car. I don't feel very dangerous as well. Haha. I guess I'm getting passionate about riding. :)

Family Meal!

We had family dinner on sunday at Siew's place and I found it quite amusing that the ladies were in the kitchen preparing the meals, while all the guys were in the living room lounging around and watching tv. Whenever one of the ladies asked any of us to do something, we would just get up and help them. The scene reminds me of some really traditional family gathering scene, where the ladies would be bustling around, trying to get all the world done, while the men would be sitting round talking and "settling stuff". Nothing of this is abnormal, but I guess I never would have imagined a scene such as thing in my family. haha.

Well... to give the men some credit, dad killed the crabs, raymond(siew's husband) cleaned the toilet which was stained with crab blood and poop, mingyao(mei's husband) drove mei, and I took the caps off the beer bottles. Someday, the guys should do the cooking. It should be quite a feast since the guys know how to cook as well. :)

Initiative

I figured that I'm quite a passive person. It's quite contrary to everything that I'm suppose to be. For example, I'm an officer, and therefore I'm suppose to be initiated, set directions and get things done. I was an Executive Member of my school's council and the Captain of my school's Ultimate Frisbee team, roles and appointments which would suggest that I take the lead. I guess I did then, I'm not sure if I do now.

I would like to think that army is the reason for my lack of initiative. However, it is not. I'm the reason for it. I got too used to the army's system of following orders that I just let myself get sucked into it. I got so used to taking orders and following them that when the time came for me to lead and to set direction, I didn't. Even when I was training to be an officer and held various appointments, I believe that I just went through the motion of things to just get them done and over with. I need to change that.

Thankfully, I'm on the pathway to changing. I'm identifying areas that I need to work on, both in my personal life, and in my army life, and I'm doing my best to make it better. As Earl Hicky said:" I'm just trying to be a better man".

So, to all the army guys out there sitting around and mopping, complaining that army sucks and life sucks and their girls going to dump them, and that sucks. Here's a little advice: do something about it! Responsible = response able!

ps this doesn't apply only to army guys. :)

First Post

I guess I've always wanted to create a blog, but have never sat down to do it. So... I figured that I'll just get off my butt and begin small. Here's the tryout!

Why blog? Why publish to the world your thinking, and your actions?

My sis says it's a ministry, and I believe so. This is my way of changing the world, one reader at a time. :)

tata. God bless.